Thursday, July 10, 2008

What Not to Say

I've been gearing up to write this post for awhile. In fact, when I was kicking around the idea of starting a blog, this is one post I was sure I was going to write and I thought it would be the first post. I held off for quite awhile but then there was an incident yesterday the refueled the fire.

I should preface this by saying I know I am not the first person that this has happened to. I am sure that every pregnant woman gets this. I do not think I'm unique in this situation but that does not comfort me.

I absolutely can not stand when someone tells me how big I'm getting or some variation. Yesterday I got both, "When are you due? Oh wow, you're so big already and you have so far to go" and in response to my stress fracture in my foot (by the way, I'm in a boot and it looks pretty ridiculous) "That's because of the weight".

Yes, the stress fracture may have something to do with my weight gain (32 lbs. over 6 months or so... I was underweight to begin with though.. probably. That's my story anyway and I'm sticking to it). I have gained a lot of weight and do look pregnant. For crying out loud, I'm 6 months along and I'm not Nicole Kidman! I don't think that's any reason to say I'm "big" or "getting so big".

Maybe I'm being incredibly sensitive because I do feel "big". But I would never, ever consider telling an overweight person that they are getting big. My husband thinks that people don't feel any shame in commenting on my weight because it is a (hopefully) temporary condition. I still think it's rude.

I know that after the experience of being pregnant, I will never comment on a pregnant woman's weight or appearance other than to tell her she looks great.

So this is my PSA for the day. If you can't say something nice about a pregnant woman's appearance, say nothing at all. Or you can just lie. But never, ever use the word big.

1 comment:

CaraBee said...

Thanks for coming by Land of Bean! I totally feel your pain on this one. I was huge when I was pregnant with my daughter and at least three times I had people ask me if I was having twins. TWINS! Talk about self-esteem issues.