Thursday, August 14, 2008

Ask and You Shall Receive

Yesterday I blogged about having nothing to blog about. Well that changed yesterday afternoon.

I was at the bus stop after work and sat down on the bench in the bus shelter next to a man who was already there. As this man was wearing headphones I figured he wouldn't bother me or want to strike up a conversation or anything. I was wrong.

First, he looks over at me and says, "I wanna smoke wit' chu".
Me (confused):What?
Crazy bus man: I wanna smoke wit' chu
Me: I don't smoke but if you want to smoke I'll move. (Side note: smoking at bus shelters and el stops in Chicago isn't legal so I shouldn't have had to move but if you sense someone is crazy, just get out of the way)
Crazy Bus Man (now referred to as CBM): No, I want to smoke with you.
Me, pointing at stomach: Well seeing as how I'm carrying a child, I will not be smoking but if you are going to smoke I will move.

I got up and walked outside of the bus shelter. Luckily, I soon saw a friend from work and began talking to her until the bus came. CBM came up to us and asked for a favor. We both said no.

We see CBM pull out the tools to roll his own cigarettes, so I'm assuming the favor had something to do with helping him roll his smoke. We go back to talking and CBM, obviously feeling like we're not paying him enough attention, comes back to talk to us, points at my feet and says, "Your ankles are swollen".

I ignore him and proceed to talk to my friend. CBM, who's obviously tenacious and not ready to give up proceeds to point out again that my ankles are swollen. I ignore him, which he doesn't seem to like.

CBM: You need to drink more water. My wife had 3 kids so I know. Your ankles are really swollen. You're not getting enough water.

And then I snapped.
Me: Alright, my ankles are swollen. Thank you. I get it. I need water.

CBM: Well, I'm just trying to help.

Thank you, crazy bus man, for pointing out my swollen ankles. Just what every pregnant woman wants to hear from strangers.

Today, I will try to drink 4 bottles of water, instead of my usual 3 since Crazy Bus Man said so. And thank you, CBM, for giving me something to write about.

On an unrelated topic, there's a man who works in my office who is a dead ringer for Kip, the older brother from Napoleon Dynamite. I have only heard rumors of him, but never saw him until today.

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